Being in a relationship is beautiful. However, sustaining one and surviving all the hardships and turbulence is a challenging task. One of the major factors that prove to be destructive for any relationship is being too possessive.
Possessiveness is good – it implies that you care for your partner. However, the overdose of it can lead to doom.
So here are the ten signs that spell out that you might be, perhaps, far TOO POSSESSIVE about your partner (Please, please, stop. For both your sakes, if any of the points here seem to twang somewhere):
1. Insecurities rise – You find yourself constantly on the edge about the other person loving you. “Got to have a belief in…Got to have a belief in love… “– and so you should.
It can be a completely jarring effect to have let someone else past all those walls that you’ve created for self-preservation purposes; but really, those walls existed for the reason of seeing who cared enough to tear them apart. Isn’t that picture enough?
2. The urge to snoop into their phone(s) – This is just something that you need to do. With the rise in access to social media blurring the boundaries of where personal space lies, it is a temptation too easy to give in to snoop around your boyfriend/girlfriend’s electronic portals to find out what they’ve been up to or whom they’ve been in contact with.
3. You try to accompany them everywhere – To find more time to be with them / to be aware of their every move. We get it. You’re in love. But really, can you spell out
S P A C E ?
It’s only healthy for your relationship to get some time away from each other.
4. You expect them to drop pre-standing plans – You want them to collapse the existing plans with their friends like a hot potato if you decided to wedge in on that space – “but, babe, this is the anniversary of our first ~!!”Come on, now. Save the innocent eyes. Your bae knows you through and through to see through and keep up with your selfish tendencies. It might seem cute and endearing at first, but it’s not going to be all water under the bridge for those jilted pals, if it happens far too often.
5. You call them up, consecutively – Even at wee hours into the night just to seek validation of their love for you. You really were bad at spellings in school, weren’t you? Let us try again – S P A C E.
6. You don’t want them to help out others – You cringe and turn a blind eye if you see them help out a classmate, but woe betide the situation if you find them helping out a female of the species with homework. Ok, it’s absolutely normal to feel a pang of sharp jealousy if you see them in the zone with a fellow colleague or a classmate, being anything but their charming selves. You can’t expect to be the only one who can see them for their positive attributes! But take courage in the fact that they chose you to be the apple of their eye, the one person whom they can bare all to.
7. Spending time with jealousy – You’re heaps jealous of their pet dog (or any animate/inanimate object otherwise privy to their care and affection). If you are, you might want to see a counselor or a psychiatrist before it revamps Takashi Miike’s ‘Audition’.
8. You cross your limits – You fantasize constantly about whisking them away to a secluded area where they can FINALLY get the deep-rooted (psychotic?) intensity of your monopolization tendencies, all in the name of love. Fantasies are fine and can be enacted or brought into real life if the other person’s consent is gathered. It’s also completely normal to want to monopolize your partner, but know your limits.
9. Getting delusional – You worry endlessly about what they’ve said to you previously. You size yourself up with their ex- often leading to the parabolic demise of your self-esteem. Exactly WHY would you want to put yourself through the misery of thinking about the flames of their past? It’s a vicious cycle. They’re with you now, and if you still have questions that need to be answered, go ahead and ask without jumping to conclusions. We can deal with only one Bridget Jones at a time, please.
10. We are getting married! Yay! Announce to the respective parents that you’ve both got marriage on your minds when you haven’t even had the talk yet. If you’ve done this and unless the other person is an absolute sucker for you, that ship is docked and ready to sail, my dear reader.
All in all, one must understand that navigating through a relationship can prove to be one of the most trickiest things you’ve ever done, possibly even, one of the most rewarding. It goes to say that life is full of unpredictability, but having that special someone with you – to share in your joys and sorrows; well, it is a rare and precious thing that needs to be constantly nurtured and taken care of. After all, it may become the very making of you!